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Does sharing Jesus sometimes feel like a monologue?

You’re talking to your friend about faith only to see their eyes glaze over. You’re brimming with excitement as you explain the goodness of Jesus, and they are glancing at their watch.

The truth is that people are most teachable at their point of need. If this is true, then the best way to spark interest in the Gospel is by connecting Jesus directly with their needs. If your friend doesn’t understand their need for Jesus, they won’t be interested in hearing about him. Jesus demonstrated the importance of connecting need with the gospel during his lifetime.

The Gospel of Luke recounts Jesus’ response to an unnamed woman with a medical condition that caused her to bleed. In the story, she struggles through the crowd to get Jesus’ attention. She does this finally by tugging on his robe, and in response, Jesus heals her. It’s an incredible miracle, but the most amazing part about the story is that he calls her ‘daughter’.

Luke 8:48 says, ‘and he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”’

Why was this so amazing?

It’s one thing to heal a lifelong medical condition (that’s pretty amazing), but Jesus connected with another deep need.

The woman’s condition meant she had to live far away from her family, friends, and community. By Law, she was “unclean.” She was an outcast. In the face of her disconnected social position, Jesus calls her “daughter.” How long do you think it had been since someone called her that? Culture had cast her aside, yet Jesus accepted her as family. Society called her an outcast, yet Jesus called her daughter.

Jesus knew her need and connected with it.

The gospel meets all of our deep needs, the challenge is discovering how. When you’re sharing Jesus with someone, speak to their needs. Find out what might be going on beneath the surface. Responding to their specific need turns a conversation about Jesus from a monologue into a dialogue.

Understanding your friend’s needs starts with listening. As a principle, it’s good to listen more than you speak. Often when we think we’re listening, our minds are just busy thinking about what we’re going to say next. But truly listening means staying in the moment, putting aside your opinions, and seeking to understand their heart.

Throw away the script. Don’t expect what worked last time to work this time. Every person is different, and so is every need.

Ask yourself, how does the gospel specifically meet their needs? Everybody needs forgiveness, love, acceptance, and peace. The unnamed woman wanted healing, but what she really needed was acceptance. What are your friends’ needs?

Spark interest in your conversations about Jesus, meet them in their need.

The World Health Organisation reports that 1 in 8 people experience a diagnosed mental illness and that 46% of people will struggle with mental health during their lifetime. Whether directly or by association, every person in the world is impacted by mental health.

If mental health is such a common problem in our society today, Christians should be asking two questions. How would Jesus approach someone struggling with their mental health, and how should I?

You might feel like you don’t have the answers or the time and energy to help a friend in need. But you have an example to follow and a command to obey that could change their life.

When Jesus reached out to people who needed help he would care by proximity. He met them face to face. Healed with a touch. Encouraged with words. He met them in their need and walked the journey with them. Galatians 6:2 instructs us to ‘carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.’ The best way to do this is to take the lead from Jesus and walk with them through their struggle.

Here are 3 simple steps to help you begin the journey as you support someone struggling with their mental health.

Ask

Asking your friend if they want to talk is always the first step. They might say “no” and that’s ok. Simply taking notice of their struggle can be encouraging and reassuring. Asking them doesn’t have to be awkward, you might say something like “Hey, I noticed you’ve seemed a bit down lately, I just want to check whether you’re ok?.”

Listen

Listening is vitally important. It provides a safe space for your friend to put words to how they are feeling and sometimes this is all they need. If there are silent moments in the conversation, that’s totally ok. It may take time for them to formulate their thoughts, so be careful not to ‘fill the silence’ with your own words. When you do speak, reinforce that what they’re feeling is understandable.

Support

How you continue to support your friend will depend on how they are doing. It can be as simple as a text message letting them know you’re thinking of them. In more serious cases, you might need to help them find professional care. If it’s been a while since you’ve heard from them, check in with them. The important part is that they know you are walking with them.

Who in your life needs support? Reach out and walk beside them today.

Institute of Health Metrics and Evaluation. Global Health Data Exchange (GHDx).

Dan is an ex-drug dealer who now follows Jesus and is passionate about talking to his friends about his faith. He shares a story about when a friend from his ‘old life’ came to live with him after becoming curious about his changed life.

Dan:

It's really easy to talk about loving someone, but it's a much harder thing to actually just do it. Love is a verb.

I moved up here to the Sunshine Coast (Australia) from Canberra. My life had been drastically changed by Jesus and my friend, who wasn't a Christian, was curious about that change and he moved up here as well. My wife and I said, “you can come stay with us for a month to get on your feet”. That month turned into six pretty quick and tensions rose. There were a whole bunch of different things that caused tension - one of those being our different beliefs - and those discussions got quite heated sometimes.

Tensions also increased when his dog got my dog pregnant - that always adds a bit of ‘fun’ in a household. Then the addition of puppies 9 weeks later definitely added a bit more tension to that.

I didn't find the push back (to my faith) too hard. It was kind of expected. It's something that I would have done when I was an atheist. I would have definitely pushed back on someone saying that they had their life changed by Jesus.

One thing about the process however, is that it wasn't clean cut. It was a messy process at times and so in that situation it took a lot of love, patience, kindness and empathy.

A big thing as well is that I really encouraged him to pray. I said, ‘seek and you'll find, knock and the door will be open to you’, (Matthew 7:7). That God is there waiting and you just have to seek Him.

We host a worship night every Tuesday night. During one of those nights, he got to experience a side of Christianity that he'd never experienced before. He said that he had an experience of ‘definitely feeling God’ and feeling His presence. From that point on he started praying a lot more and we started going over the Bible a lot more, and there were tangible personality differences. It got to a point where he was ready and he said he wanted to commit his life to Jesus and I ended up baptizing him in the ocean just out front of our house.

When he (eventually) finished living with us he actually moved cities and he lives somewhere else now. But we did get an extra cute dog out of the whole situation - and heaven got another saint, so that's awesome.

The main encouragement that I would give people who want to share their faith more is just to do it, but do it with the people around you. Do it with the people you know and spark up conversations about what you believe. Find out why you believe it and share it with the people around you. This is going to be messy at times. It's not always going to go according to plan. There's going to be situations that are uncomfortable, but it's pretty clear in the Bible that it didn't always go to plan for the apostles and people in the early church either, and that shouldn't discourage us from sharing the gospel.

We should definitely persevere and endure, and we have to trust in God and the Holy Spirit, 'cause He's the one that changes hearts and He's the one that changes lives. We're just the ones sharing the message.

Bella is a graphic designer and has spent most of her working life in ministry and church. Stepping out into a secular work environment was a challenge, especially when it came to bringing up her faith. But Bella discovered a simple secret that made all the difference…

Bella:

In my life, I’ve only ever worked in Christian ministries and churches. But recently I started a new job in a totally secular environment. I’ve wanted to be serious about living life on-mission but I felt nervous about talking to people about Jesus in a natural way. The Holy Spirit challenged me to just be honest when the moment arises and I wanted to be obedient to that.

Well, the other day I was having lunch with a new friend from work and we were talking about life outside of work. I showed her some photos of my friends and my housemates, and she asked me where I met them. It was such a simple moment, but I said, “Oh, I met them all through church.” I explained how we grew close by serving on teams together for a long time at church. I mean, it’s not like I shared my testimony or led her through a prayer of salvation or anything like that, it was just a simple moment of obedient honesty.

I felt pretty nervous as we were having the conversation. I didn’t know how she was going to react. I didn’t know what her past experience of church was like. I was feeling on edge.

But as the conversation went on I kept reminding myself that I wasn’t trying to convince her of anything, I was just making a plain statement about my life. I was just sharing who I am and how I live, and that thought was really calming for me.

I realized that just being casual, honest and authentic took the pressure off. I could be obedient to the Holy Spirit and the outcome meant we grew closer as friends because we know more about each other.

The Bible says that ‘all things work together for good for those who love God’ (Romans 8:28). So sharing my faith doesn’t need to be complicated, I can just be honest about my life and trust God to work out the good.

This whole experience reminded me that I don’t need to change the whole world, I just have to do my bit and be true to myself, display the heart of Jesus and be honest when Jesus comes up in conversation.

I realized that if I’m being honest and real, Jesus is going to come up in conversation because he’s such a big part of my life. So when someone says “Why do you do this? Or say that?” I can honestly answer with “Oh, it’s because I love God and I love people.”

And there it is, simple honesty. Be honest when someone comes up to you with questions. Be honest when you’re in a conversation – if God’s a part of your life He’ll come up.

Just be honest, it doesn't have to be more complicated than that.